You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
