don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
