Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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