kristin has been a bad kristin
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
