that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
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