so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
