Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
