I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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