Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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