I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
