his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
