i don't like sucking hair
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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