Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
