I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
