And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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