mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
