girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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