So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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