I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
