You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
