Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
