Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
