she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
