if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
