i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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