'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
