Pregnant stripper...not hot.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
