Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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