that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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