Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
where are you?
Hypothermia
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
