he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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