i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
