you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i drank out of a bidet.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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