i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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