I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
