why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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