i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
