I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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