I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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