the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
