As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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