How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize
