either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Be still, my beating vagina.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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