a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize