would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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