he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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