Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
