i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Boobs speak an international language.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
