is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize