Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
