There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
