I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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