I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Randomize