he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
