i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
