do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
