Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
