i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
