I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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