he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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