Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
