remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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