Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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