Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
