Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
