Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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