She's JV to your varsity
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
