u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize
