i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
