Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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