WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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