I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
