I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize