yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
