Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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