What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
